Zidane's Quest of Past Pleasures
by VashandNaomiForever
Summary: A story of quiet lies, of sparing feelings, of Zidane getting kicked the Hell out of the castle until he knows for sure that there aren't any little monkey tailed bastards out in the world. He's going on a trip with his close Tantalus gang to try and locate the four other women he slept with, to see if Garnet has reason to worry about illegitimate children. R&R!
1. Chapter 1

**Zidane's Quest of Past Pleasures**

Disclaimer: Final Fantasy 9 belongs to Square Enix.

Zidane had been given the honor of being Garnets first, taking her virginity a few nights after his return. They had been careful though, using contraceptive methods; animal intestines made to fit over the gentleman's cock, spilling seed into the specially designed intestine to prevent pregnancy. Garnet, in her nave mind, had assumed that it had been Zidannes first time as well. I mean sure, he had a reputation as a flirter, but Garnet never imagined him going beyond that...how wrong she would come to be.

He had let her assume, not wanting to ruin their relationship by owning up to his other...relations. Her mind never would have been suspicious if it hadn't been for a very vivid dream she had. Now some people, they see dreams as a sign or omen, while others just shrug them off entirely. Garnet, liked to take her dreams as a sign, and what she had seen hadn't pleased her, it had broken her heart.

It was one of those dreams where you're walking around like everything is normal, the only difference was that she and Zidane were pushing a stroller together. At first she automatically accepted the child as theirs, until she glanced down and noticed that it had traits of Zidane, for example his tail, but the baby had no summoners horn nor any other genetic resemblance to Garnet. That's when she stopped walking and turned to confront him about it, asking him who the baby really belonged to.

"I had needs while we were apart, I couldn't help it..."

"I have always been honest with you, and you let me just go along with this lie?!" (Dreams make little sense to some degree, Garnet in real life knew she would have been there for the birth, but the dream made her forget this fact...that or overlook it.)

"What do you want from me? She's here now, what else are we suppose to do?" He demanded an answer.

"We do nothing, I'm leaving. I can never forgive you for this, Zidane!" She had started running away from him, he had chased after her. He was about to reach her when Garnet awoke, tears slipping down her face as she tried to cool her mind and heart.

That's when the subtle questions had started. Garnet had tried casually asking who else he use to "_date_". Now in her mind, when she said date she really was meaning "have sex with", but she couldn't really come out and say it like that. Zidane would shrug it off, saying they were all in the past and that only she mattered to him now.

Zidane had been brushing her questions off for a while, when finally Garnet met her patience end.

"Zidane, is there any way you might have had an illegitimate child?" She blurted out as they were laying naked in her bed. She received silence, his face a mask as his tail twitched, tickling her legs.

"What brought this on?" He asked in a joking tone.

"Just be honest with me, Zidane, like I've always been with you. Have there been other women you've had like...this?" She gestured to her naked self, Zidane had blushed, his forehead beginning to sweat.

"Is it hot in here? I think I'll open some windows." He got up from the bed, putting off her important question to mess with the bedroom windows.

"_Zidane_..." Her tone was serious, no messing around.

"Garnet, why ask _now_? Haven't we had a great time the way we've been?"

"Just answer the question!" She argued back, feeling dread creeping in like a fog, chilling her.

"Four...there were four others." He stated cooly, his face void of emotion as he told her his count.

"So I'm not your first. Tell me, did you always use protection with them? Is there a chance that you might be...might be." She paused, her dream flashing before her eyes, sensing an unpleasant event about to happen.

"Garnet, I was young. I was busy trying to prove myself to all the guys, they were all just notches in my belt." His words unintentionally hurt, his face showing regret at how he had worded his sentence.

"Is that all I am to you as well? A _notch_?" She was beginning to shake, laying in her bed and feeling a rage she'd never felt before.

"No, I love you, Garnet! That was back in the day, with you it's totally different." He tried reassuring her, but Garnet wasn't feeling very forgiving.

"Then answer my other question, could you have possibly sired a...a child with one if those other women?" She got out the words, her eyes showing annoyance as he merely shrugged.

"How should I know? It was a one time thing, I never saw any of them again." He informed her, Garnet rose from her bed and started dressing, her heart filled with uncertainty and resentment. While they'd been making love all this time, she'd said intimate things that now seemed very foolish. She had dirty talked him, spoke from the heart in a naughty, yet personal way, saying she wanted to be the first girl he came in, to cream pie her (yes, the princess was savvy to that term). Now she felt like she'd been betrayed and somewhat humiliated. He had already filled other women with his seed, without the protection of animal intestines, a practice they had done for political reasons, but a thing they had wanted to try within the near future. Now all she wanted to do was slap his face.

"Zidane, we can't do this."

"What do you mean?" He asked, not understanding her meaning as the queen dressed.

"We can't be together until I know for certain if you've had a child with one of those women. I wanted a fresh life with you, not a life started on lies and a surprise child. You need to locate those girls and find out, Zidane. Until then, I don't want you here." She finished pulling on her dress, staring cooly at her lover.

"I haven't seen any of them in ages, how do you expect me to find them?!" He complained.

"That's your problem." She haughtily replied, walking past his naked, gaping face and opening the bedroom chamber.

"Good bye Zidane." She sadly spoke, not even looking at him as she left the room, her heart aching as she felt the tears slowly falling.

"Well _fuck_!" Zidane cursed, scrambling around and tugging on his clothes, kicking himself now for being dishonest with the woman he'd come to truly love. He had been a young, sex crazed teen, was that excuse enough for his past? Apparently not for her _majesty_, but what else was he to do? Zidane sighed, fully clothed as he left the regal room, taking a side entrance out of the gigantic castle.

"Well, what girl should I look for first? I wonder if any of the Tantalus gang remembers my first one." He thought out loud as he started to make his way towards the docks. Maybe he'd find Blank or Marcus at Ruby's mini theater, wouldn't they be surprised to find out their top thief had been kicked out of his canary's nest?

-0-0-

"Wait a minute, you're telling me Garnet never knew about your other conquests? How naive is this queen of ours?" Blank mouthed off, really surprised the beautiful gal never put two and two together. Zidane was a skirt chaser after all, she should have foreseen that he'd have a past.

They were gathered around a table inside Ruby's theater, Marcus was sipping a pint while Cinna was munching on cake Ruby had made the other day. Zidane was sitting poutingly on his chair, backwards, glaring at Blank for calling his girl naive.

"She's just innocent, nothing wrong with that Blank, I'm the one who screwed up. She wants me to track down all those girls and make sure none of them had my...baby." He coughed the last word, making Cinna choke on his piece of cake while Marcus spat out his drink.

"She wants you to what?" Blank and Marcus spoke at the same time, Cinna pounding on his chest until he was able to swallow his choking piece.

"That's insane!" He couched out the words, crumbs falling out his mouth as he said so.

"I know, I know! I don't know where to begin, I was hoping you guys could help." Zidane confided, looking over his ragamuffin crew.

"What, like some sort of trip looking for girlfriends from the past?" Blank sounded a bit cynical.

"Listen, Bro." Marcus began, addressing Blank, "How long has it been since it was just us three and Zidane on the open road? We could use this to get back to the way we were." He looked around at the nodding heads, agreeing with his statement.

"Alright, say we do help ya out, where the Hell do we start this sort of trip?" Blank wanted to know, clueless as to where any of Zidane's past flings might have run off to.

"How bout Treno? We did a lot of romping around there." Cinna offered his thoughts.

"Oh come on, Cinna, the only piece you've ever gotten in Treno a piece of their famous black tonberry pie." Blank joked, getting everyone to laugh except the frowning faced Cinna.

"Fuck you guys, I've gotten some before." He gruffly spoke, offended.

"Sure." They all said in unison, standing up and heading towards the door.

"Maybe Cinna can find out if he's the father of a cinnamon tonberry pie!" Marcus cackled, the others laughing it up as they left the little theater, Cinna mumbling curses as he followed slowly behind.

"Ass holes!" He called them, wondering to himself why he was following them when he knew more jokes at his expense were going to happen. . .

-0-0-


	2. Chapter 2

_**Zidane's Quest of Past Pleasures**_

Disclaimer: Final Fantasy 9 belongs to Square Enix.

Treno, a city that the Tantalus band of thieves had visited on multiple occasions, grabbing supplies for excursions while stopping by a local pub for some refreshments. Not all the refreshments had been strictly booze related, the boys were known to play around with certain women of the night.

The gangs private encounters were just that, they weren't exactly a kiss and tell sort of group, only saying vague comments like "I've done her." Not delving into specific details. Marcus was the pickiest one of the group, standing on the sidelines for the most part, brushing off most curious women until he felt a genuine attraction towards a specific lady. Blank was the second choosiest, and with Blank, it was more about the groping and the kissing rather than actually renting a room to bump and grind, he was mostly into it for quick tugs and smooches.

Zidane had been the youngest, the most eager to get some girls under his belt, to prove to the guys he wasn't just a kid, that he could handle the 'ladies'. His first encounter had been with a cute bartender that worked at a pub called the Broken Blade, a popular dig where most middle class and some lower class gathered to share a good time.

The pub had been in business for a lot of years, an old guy named Bugsy owning it since anyone could remember. The gang had headed into the pub, and Zidane had fallen head over heels for fiery red headed woman, her curly hair and curvy body catching most mens interest. It was luck that Zidane even got a chance with her, the gal was use to many guys coming onto her during her shift, what had caused her to make the choice to have a night of passion with the young blonde, the Tantalus crew couldn't say.

One minute they were talking, and then the next she was dragging Zidane up stairs to one of the private rooms. It was Zidane's first time, the gal, no he couldn't even remember her name, she had been experienced. She showed him ways women liked to be touched, even bringing up a position some men weren't into, 69. Zidane had been an eager learner, not bothered one bit when she had him shoved against her hairy clam, as she gobbled his prick up like a hungry dog to a bone.

Things had escalated, they'd been switching up positions when he found that bending her over brought him over the edge, he'd pumped into her, never thinking about the possible consequences. In his defense, she hasn't seemed upset or worried, maybe if she had been, he wouldn't have felt it okay to just pump and dump so often.

Here they were, returning to the bar after a couple of years. Cinna was ordering food the minute they arrived, complaining about their tasteless rations during their journey. Marcus and Blank found a table, ordering drinks as their friend Zidane looked around the pub carefully.

The decor was still the same, blades of different shapes and sizes adorned the walls, dusty and rusted. Zidane turned his attention to the bar counter, a guy behind it, not the girl he'd been expecting. He walked up to the black haired dude, the man asking if he wanted a drink.

"Actually, I'm trying to find someone. She use to be a bartender her, red hair, awesome body?" He briefly described her.

"Maddy? She's been gone a few years now, got shacked up and is having her third kid." He informed the wide eyed other.

"Can you give me her address?" He awkwardly asked, the guy raising his brow before spouting off an address near the fancier part of Treno.

After he got what he wanted, Zidane walked over to his waiting friends.

"So?" Blank watched as the young blonde sank heavily in a seat between his friends.

"She's living with someone, and she's pregnant with her third kid..." Zidane spoke uneasily, his friends sharing a glance, knowing that the blonde was feeling nervous.

"Hey, it could be the other mans kid, there's only one way to make sure." Blank nudged his friend, noticing Zidane had a nervous twitch starting on his face.

"Do you want back up?" Marcus offered, feeling bad for the anxious acting pal.

"Back up? _Sure_...that way one of you can _laugh_ when a monkey tailed kid comes to the fuckin' door._ No thanks_, I got this." He sighed, standing up and heading towards the exit.

"Think he's doomed?" Blank asked of his bandana wearing buddy.

"Hard to say, how old was he when he screwed her?" Marcus couldn't remember exactly how young the blonde had been.

"Fifteen, wasn't he?" Blank offered, having a hard time recollecting.

"So, a little over two years ago? Kinda cutting it close." Marcus was hoping for the best, but it wasn't looking good for their skirt chasing friend.

-0-0-

It was a nice looking house, right on a corner, big and white and regal. The smell of cooking was coming from an open window, meaning that someone was actually home. A part of him had hoped the home would be empty.

"For Garnet, I have to do this for her." He amped himself up, gaining the strength to walk up and knock on the white, pristine looking door. He hear footsteps, a child crying in the deeper part of the house, as the door started to unlock. It creaked open, red locks visible before green eyes looked through the crack, recognition in them once they took in his appearance.

"Why bless my soul, Zidane!" She smiled, opening the door wide and gesturing him to come in.

'_What was her name again? Come on Zidane, think! The bartender fucking just said it!..._'

"_Maddy_, it's been a while, how have you been?" He nervously smiled back, following her into the delicious smelling kitchen. Marble countertops, what kind of man had this girl hooked up with?!

"Well, I'm engaged, just found out I'm pregnant with number three, and couldn't be any happier. How about you, sweetie? Word on the street is that you're courting the Queen of Alexandria." She watched him cough awkwardly, making her giggle.

"Well, Maddy, that's sorta why I'm here. You see, I kinda was wondering if my past had any...surprises in it...Things that happened afterwords..." He was beating around the bush, and she could tell by the way he sweated what was on his mind.

"Zidane, you don't have anything to worry about. I met my Gordon right after our fling and the rest is history." She eased his mind considerably.

"No tail? I mean your oldest..." He asked, making sure.

"No tail." She repeated, making him sigh and relax with relief.

"So, your lady was worried about that, or you were?" Maddy asked, stirring her warm pot of stew as she spoke with her previous sex partner.

"Well, it was her. She just brought it up and I didn't really have an answer for her..." He admitted, feeling a slight bit embarrassed.

"Well, I can't blame her. Though I'm surprised you yourself don't know the answer." She winked playfully at him, making him feel less embarrassed.

"So you're happy, Maddy? Is this guy loaded or something?" He asked her, looking at the copper pots about the kitchen, another expensive item.

"He's a lower class nobleman. I'd love him with or without the money, though it is a nice change." She chuckled, taking her mixing spoon and tasting the concoction.

"Want to stay for dinner?" She offered, the blonde felt it'd be a bit weird sharing dinner with her husband, surly she had mentioned her previous relationships with him.

"I have friends I need to meet back up with. It was nice seeing you again, I'm glad you're doing good." He smiled, getting a hug from the friendly lass before she walked him back to the door.

"See you later, Zidane. Keep that queen of yours happy, alright?" She teased as he left her home, waving goodbye.

'_Well, that's one down, three more to go. What place should we travel to next?_' Zidane mused to himself as he slowly made his way back to the pub.

-0-0-


	3. Chapter 3

**Zidane's Quest of Past Pleasures**

Disclaimer: Final Fantasy 9 belongs to Square Enix.

Blank and Marcus watched as their monkey tailed friend pulled up a seat, let out a sigh and rested his blonde head on the table.

"Bad news?" Marcus asked, taking the others stance as a negative sign.

"Barely dodged that one." Zidane mumbled, lifting his head up to look at his smiling friends.

"Then why the tired mug? You should be celebrating, here, have my drink, I'll order another." Blank slid over his untouched pint, the foamy allure greeting Zidane like a beautiful woman.

Cinna came over right as Zidane was gulping down his drink, the scruffy looking friend carrying a plate with a large piece of pie on it.

"How'd it go?" He asked, sitting down amongst them, wondering if their youngest member was a daddy.

"He's golden, no brat from that one." Blank answered for his drinking buddy, gesturing over a pretty waitress and ordering another round of drinks.

"Hey, I know you!" She eyed the red headed young man carefully.

"Honey, that's what they _all_ say." He chuckled confidently.

"No, I _know_ you. You're Blank, _right_?" She knew his name, which wasn't surprising, they had visited this pub before in the past.

"That's right, the one and only." He joked, noticing her facial expression was serious, unfriendly.

"What, did I date your sister or something?" He began to awkwardly chuckle, her brown eyes staring like miniature daggers.

"No, you _lied_ to me, Blank! You said I couldn't get pregnant giving you a blow job! Nine months later I had a baby!" She growled at him, little fists shaking against her sides.

Marcus was turning away, pretending like he didn't know the red head, Zidane was spitting out his beer, laughing like an immature ass hat, and Cinna was choking on his pie.

'_Blow job...who the Hell did I tell that to? Is she some crazy bitch making up shit to scare me?' _Blank thought as she continued to glare. Marcus had stood up, preforming a maneuver to help dislodge the pie from Cinnas throat.

"Blow jobs don't get you _pregnant_. You can't have kids by swallowing dick juice." He stated the facts, not expecting her to lash out and slap him across the face. He felt his cheek swelling as he put a hand against it tenderly.

"You _ass_! You lied about what a blow job was! You told me to suck until _it_ got hard then shoved your _grimy_ penis against my damn pussy!" She reminded him, that moment had been a blurry memory, the man having been very drunk when it had happened.

"Hehe, oh yeah, _that_ night..." He mumbled, feeling pressure as she kept glaring at him, as if expecting an apology or something.

"Well, it's about time we hit the _dusty trail,_ eh guys?" He made mention to his crew, Zidane still sniggering while the piece of pie Cinna had been choking on flew out of his mouth, landing on the waitresses head, drenching her hair in berries and spit.

"Let's head out!" Blank scrambled, hurrying away from the screaming, appalled woman as his friends followed behind, hustling to escape the lady's wrath.

"Great job, Blank. And I thought I was in deep shit." Zidane sassed his pal as the group jogged their way out of Treno, all silently thinking it'd be best to camp out rather than be found by the enraged woman Blank had fucked.

"Shut up!" Blank yelled, not amused with his situation. If she expected any sort of financial support, the gal had another thing coming.

They journeyed into the night, crossing the border and nearing Dali, setting camp outside the farming community.

"Think there's still that chocobo rancher around here? Remember him, Zidane?" Cinna chuckled over their campfire.

"Wasn't he the old bald guy with the hot daughter?" Marcus questioned, receiving a curt nod from Blank. The red head was still a bit on edge since their run in with his angry ex lover.

"What are you guys talking about? I don't remember a chocobo ranch around here." Zidane mumbled, not remembering the adventure from a few years ago.

"Are you _joking_? That rancher caught you and his daughter going at it on top of one of his prized birds. You can't tell me you don't remember _that_!" Cinna scoffed, the incident still sharp within his memory.

"What? That's nuts! How the Hell would I have got into that position?" He argued, all his friends sharing a smirk.

"I know that look, _spill_! What did you dicks do to me to make that crap happen?" He accused them, knowing they were into pranking him horribly back in his younger years.

"Remember we ate at their home? Some special fungus may have been slipped onto your plate while ya weren't looking." Blank casually mentioned, the other two men snickered like little school girls as Zidane began to curse them out.

"God damn you! Now I have another girl to count for?! Garnets gonna be _real_ fucking happy to hear about that!" He started pacing back and forth along the camp fire, stressing out at the thought of admitting to his love that he'd bedding another girl, one he _completely_ forgot about. At least with Maddy, there had been a _vague_ memory.

"Calm down, so you screwed around, it was all on us, you can mention that if it helps with Garnet." Marcus offered, willing to vouch his behavior involving Zidane's naughty actions with a ranchers daughter.

"You guys are a bunch of dicks! I'm going to bed!" Zidane growled, leaving their company to go pout within the empty tent.

"Think he's gonna stay mad?" Cinna remarked.

"Oh, I know I wouldn't be fucking happy about what we let him do. I mean, do you guys remember half the crazy shit he was up to? He was lucky he didn't fall off that barn roof." Marcus shook his head, somewhat sorry for their past prank.

"He'll put his big girl panties on and deal with it. Hell, I just found out I'm a _dad_, and I'm just _fine_." Blank laughed kinda crazily, the others scooting away from him awkwardly. Maybe Zidane could use some company in that tent, because Blank was starting to creep Marcus and Cinna out with his strange laughter as he roasted meat into the roaring fire...

-0-0-


	4. Chapter 4

**Zidane's Quest of Past Pleasures**

Disclaimer: Final Fantasy 9 belongs to Square Enix.

-0-0-

"I don't remember there being so much corn planted around here...are you guys sure we're going the right way?" Zidane asked, momentarily over his last nights mood.

"Yeah, we're headed in the right direction. You're right about the corn though, it's sort of...unusual." Marcus commented, glancing at the farm ground they were traveling along.

"Good place for monsters to hide." Cinna remarked, everyone giving him a dirty look.

"Not funny, Cinna. It's farm ground, people are irrigating it all the time, there's hardly any reason monsters would linger round here." Blank reasoned, trying not to get shifty eyed as they passed along the tall, green stocks of corn.

"They'd linger cause it'd be easy pickings." Cinna annoyingly argued, "One quick swipe and BOOM!" Everyone jumped at his loud sound effects, "Monster sandwich." He finished his assessment, receiving punches from everyone in the group.

"What'd I do?!" He whined, rubbing his sore spots where they'd all hit him, thick skulled and not realizing his words had unsettled the group.

"Just shut your trap for the rest of the day." Blank mumbled, Zidane and Marcus now eyeing the corn field wearily as well.

Shuffling, then movement was noticed amongst the stocks, everyone stopping in their tracks and wielding their weapons, ready for an attack. To their surprise and relief, out of the corn emerged a child. The kid was a little girl, wearing a simple pink dress. Everything seemed normal enough about her, all except the rusted, aged sickle. Figuring the child was from the farming community, the tool was assumed to be just that, a tool. What they hadn't expected, was what she intended to use it for.

The girl pounced, slicing at the nearest man, meaning Marcus. The bandana wearing thief dodged, yelling as the girl adjusted her attack, swinging wildly at the second closest person, Cinna.

Cinna, not always the most sane member, thought it best to swing his hammer at her, fighting back against the young child. His heavy hammer hit her wrist, making her drop the sickle and causing her to burst into tears.

"Cinna?!" Zidane and Blank yelled, moving over to the girl as she held her swelling wrist.

"She's nuts!" Marcus shook his head, standing back as the red head and Zidane attempted to help her. The girl hissed at them, backing away until the corn swallowed her up, disappearing into the field.

"The Hell was that all about?" Zidane looked around at all his buddies, finding that they too had no clue as to why the girl attacked, then retreated.

"Maybe after we find that chocobo ranch, we should check on the village of Dali, make sure things are...normal." Marcus proposed, the others silently nodding in agreement.

"Still think we're going the right way?" Zidane asked again, finding this path now a bit...unusual.

"Maybe...maybe it was the other direction. Blank?" Marcus questioned, staring at the red head.

"Yeah, I'm with ya on that. It's probably the other way. Lets get going." He was the first to turn around, the others following by example. Whatever laid beyond this field could wait, they had important tasks to attend to.

-0-0-

The ranch had been located in a wooded area, the yellow birds preferring that terrain. A barn was built inside a small clearing within the trees, along with a humble looking farm house. None of it was familiar to Zidane, but the others had no trouble recognizing the location.

They found a large, fat man bent over, examining a tied up chocobo's foot, the group calming walking over and hailing the fellow.

"Hey, we were wondering if the old man who raised chocobos is still here, along with his daughter." Blank began, they all watched as the heavy man spat tobacco on the ground, still preoccupied with the yellow birds foot.

"Depends who's askin'." The gravely voice commented, letting go of his hold on the bird and turning around to look at the Tantalus crew.

The large mans face was sparsely whiskered, with a greasy complexion. His shirt was filthy with dirt and mysterious stains, his pants were ripped and torn in places, chocobo poop on the hem on his trousers. His teeth were crooked with moss seeming to grow on them, quite a grungy character. The Tantalus crew were not the cleanliness group, but their hygiene was ten times more efficient than this chubby rancher.

"Well, we once spent the night here a few years back, and just had a few questions for them." Zidane spoke up, his immature companions unable to speak, finding the rancher's physical appearance humorous.

"Well, Pa's up in the house, resting. He ain't got no daughter though, I'm his only son." The rancher commented, the others looking curiously at the guy, wondering if maybe after their visit his daughter had been disowned...

"Well, can we talk to him and confirm that?" Zidane asked, watching as the heavy fellow shrugged.

"Sure, come on in." The large man walked past them, leading the group towards the old farm house.

As the guys followed the plump oakie over to the porch, a rocking chair was moving slowing, an old man lounging in it. He was bald, had large brown moles hanging off his aged body, and his face appeared only capable of frowning. The fat rancher stopped, as if surprised to see the elderly coot outside the home, before addressing the wrinkled geezer.

"Pa, you remember these folks?" The son asked, stepping aside so that the man could peer at the guests better.

"Never seen em before." The old man humphed, still frowning at the group of four.

"Excuse me, but we once stayed here a few years ago. Our friend was a bit obscene with your daughter?" Blank tried getting the fellow to remember, Zidane feeling out of sorts as his smart ass friend identified that it was him that fooled around with the ranchers little girl.

"Ain't got no daughter." He argued with them, "Just got me a son, Patrick."

"See? Now you all best get going, Pa's not much for company." The overly stuffed young man gestured for them to take their leave.

"Wait a minute! This is the only chocobo ranch around these parts, you have to be the right rancher. What happened to your daughter?" Blank argued, holding his ground when the others were ready to leave.

"Pat...Hey Bro, wasn't that chicks name Patricia?" Marcus commented, making the elderly man stand from his creaking rocking chair to point an accusing finger at Zidane.

"No daughter of mine shamed me, that's why I've got me a son. Sons can be whatever they like, they're men. They can't be tarnished like sweet innocent girls." He was shaking as he stood, his body weak and unstable.

"Pa, sit down fore ya fall over again." The son warned, moving to physically pull the aged guy down to his seat.

"You fella's better take off, Pa's got a heart condition an makin' him mad don't help it none." The large son urged, Zidane went over and patted the guy on the shoulder, feeling for the dude who had to take care of his dad who was like a helpless child.

The fat mans eyes widened at the physical touch, halting his attempt to control his fathers movements to sucker punch the unsuspecting blonde.

Zidane fell off the porch with a thud, dust flying where his body fell, the guys looking wide eyed at the downed buddy.

"I told ya all to beat it! Now take that filthy monkey boy and get the Hell out!" The irate plump male shouted, the group of friends dragging away Zidane's confused, dizzy body to a safer location.

-0-0-

When Zidane was more focused and aware of his surroundings, the friends were discussing what had just happened. The "sons" name was Patrick, the girl had been called Patricia. Patrick had decked Zidane for laying a friendly hand on him, had been irate for them to leave...

"We need someone down there to listen in, to see what they're discussing, something isn't right with all this." Blank commented, his pals nodding in agreement.

"Do you think that thing was actually...her, Bro?" Marcus asked what everyone other than Zidane was thinking.

"We're gonna find out. Who's up for some spying?" Blank looked around him, everyone nodding except for Zidane.

"What if we just leave it alone, huh? If that dude really was a chick once, a chick I screwed...guys, I _really_ don't want to tell Garnet about this!" He complained, the others rolling their eyes at his wimpy attitude.

"Hey, you wanna know if she popped out a kid before all that change, don't ya?" Cinna made his point, the blonde hanging his head in defeat, moping.

"Alright, we'll head in when it's night, see if we can hear any dinner time talk, then when they're sleeping, we check that fat bastard and see if he's a real dude. Zidane, that'll be your job, you're the one who really needs all these answers anyway." Blank watched as the blonde kicked a rock, mumbling curses as he unhappily accepted the task.

Was Zidane going to find a mans body part, or would he go blind seeing the fat imposters hairy, meaty clam? Either way, Garnet wasn't getting told the whole story on this adventure, all she needed were facts about bastard kids, nothing more.

-0-0-


End file.
